Quiet ushers in thoughts my heart can’t grasp.
Inconsequential moments cause waves of grief that knock my feet out from under me. A kiss, a smell, a touch.
Fear breathes down my neck, looks over my shoulder, and hovers- striking when I least expect it.
Mere thoughts paralyze me to the core.
A monster steals joy from the smallest moments. Lurking. Waiting.
Nausea. Exhaustion. Anxiety.
It hurts to breathe.
It hurts to think.
It hurts to feel.
Tears I have to hide.
Being still is a doorway to pain so I keep moving.
Constantly.
I am brave.
I am strong.
Everything is fine.
…except it’s not.
I’m sorry. I feel this post. Oh how do I feel it. I am past some of it, not all of it though. I don’t know the cause of your pain, but I can feel it in your writing. This post and last, strong, touching, deep. I hope that you can get on the other side of the monster soon. And I hope the other side is the better side. Hug to you.
This is making me worried. Just want you to know I’m thinking of you.
Today was a hard day. Tomorrow will be better. Thank you, friends.