Brave, strong

Quiet ushers in thoughts my heart can’t grasp.

Inconsequential moments cause waves of grief that knock my feet out from under me. A kiss, a smell, a touch.

Fear breathes down my neck, looks over my shoulder, and hovers- striking when I least expect it.

Mere thoughts paralyze me to the core.

A monster steals joy from the smallest moments. Lurking. Waiting.

Nausea. Exhaustion. Anxiety.

It hurts to breathe.

It hurts to think.

It hurts to feel.

Tears I have to hide.

Being still is a doorway to pain so I keep moving.

Constantly.

I am brave.

I am strong.

Everything is fine.

…except it’s not.

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3 thoughts on “Brave, strong

  1. I’m sorry. I feel this post. Oh how do I feel it. I am past some of it, not all of it though. I don’t know the cause of your pain, but I can feel it in your writing. This post and last, strong, touching, deep. I hope that you can get on the other side of the monster soon. And I hope the other side is the better side. Hug to you.

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